As an author with a new book, let me tell you about eleven other books instead!

[clears throat] Let me tell you why I can’t make it to your book launch tonight

Sure, the sky is falling, but lemme tell you about my book!!!!!!!!

I am a white man, and it's very important I continue to be allowed to write whatever I want

Good news—I wrote a likable female protagonist!!!

I'm a reader, and I am begging authors to stop having opinions

A day in the life of a reader who tags the author in a bad review

My author bios, rewritten for accuracy